We Can't Do It Alone

You can't make a pie without someone else planting the berry bushes.

Announcement

I’m hosting another forest bathing experience, Foraging for Salmonberries, on Sunday, June 29, from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. a half-hour outside Eugene. We’ll be focused on learning to identify and gather delicious salmonberries for jams, pies, and eating out-of-hand, as well as experiencing and reflecting on the marvelous effects of forest bathing.

I’m offering this experience by donation, with a suggested sliding scale of $15-50 per person. To register, head to my Calendly or RSVP to the event on Facebook for updates.

We Can't Do It Alone

Hi there.

Today, in honor of men’s mental health month, I'm going to tell you something I've had trouble accepting about myself:

I'm an idea person.

I've had trouble accepting that, because I'm not always the best at executing my ideas to completion. Try as I might, I often get distracted by the many new, now more exciting ideas that came up in the process I'm trying to complete the first.

This led to shame and disappointment for not finishing what I started. It led to a lack of faith in myself to start new projects. It led to procrastination and self-isolation, cause I had too many unfinished ideas to pursue to show up even in social circles that could accept me as I am. It led to me resenting my ideas for the lack of rest they afforded my mind.

Sometimes it still does. I still have to make a practice to forgive myself for the projects and dreams I've left unrealized in order to take a break, get the rest I need, and truly feel the gratitude for what I have done and who I know, rather than the resentment of what eludes me and avoidance of other people as distractions.

Sometimes I still have to disentangle my self-worth from the hyperindividualist messaging that I should be able to do it all myself. It’s this kind of messaging that keeps men from reaching out when they’re struggling, whether professionally or emotionally. Professional success and emotional health can be unfortunately intertwined for men, because of how closely manhood is culturally associated with providing financially. The external silence we equate with strength then causes a vicious feedback loop, where men don’t communicate their struggles to one another, and therefore feel even more alone in them.

We’re not alone in our emotions, however, nor our ambitions. We don’t have to do it all alone. Believing as much is a recipe for more shame, procrastination, and isolation. Once I let go of that belief, I can find joy in sharing my ideas, and maybe even find people and structures that fill in the parts of the execution I can't.

As an idea person, I don't have to be a doer, just like you doers out there don't have to be idea people. Instead of comparing ourselves, feeling envious, delaying the parts of the creative process that don't come naturally to us, and probably feeling worse — why not admire each other, complement each other, and work together to create something more than the sum of our parts?

The first step towards that collaborative, rather than competitive, ethos is accepting ourselves, so we can be transparent about what we're good at and what we're not. Next is sharing what we're after, so we can learn who it resonates with and who can help us with their unique skillset.

This post is part of doing that for me. See, I've been trying to create my own structure to bring my ideas and skillset as a nature guide and deep listener to people independently, and burning myself out as a result. Now I'm putting my appeal for direction out there and trusting that the team and structure I need to share these gifts on a regular basis will find me. Full disclosure: this is a growth edge for me.

I'm seeking a short-term, somatically-grounded training that will equip me to facilitate small group healing experiences and hold 1:1 space for deep personal inquiry and transformation.

My strengths lie in presence, intuitive listening, nature connection, and guiding others to tap into their creative and inner potential. I’m particularly drawn to approaches rooted in regeneration, embodiment, and relational healing, and I'm looking for a framework I can train within—not something I need to invent myself.

As an expecting new parent and writer, I’m prioritizing sustainable, flexible work with community support and pathways to income or collaboration. Ideally, I’d love to be part of a collective, organization, or community that is already doing this work and is looking for people like me to contribute.

If you know of any positions, organizations, or trainings that seem aligned with these goals, don't hesitate to reach out to me in the comments or via direct message.

Now, I also have a short and snappy poem for you to accompany all this radical transparency. Consider it a recipe for a spiritually balanced life, where you can go after what you want and let it all go as need be.

Enjoy.

The Recipe

To be free, give up your desires. 
To have what you desire, give up being free.
 
Rinse,
Wash, 
Eat, 

Repeat.